None Of Your Business

KSI is a long-shot from OK Cupid.

KSI is not a dating community. Please do not come into it thinking that you’re going to find your soulmate. Perhaps that is harsh, but it is true. The happiest couples I know in KSI were in a relationship before they got here. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a relationship or find true love. It isn’t frowned upon, however if you have come into the community with finding a date as your “Why” then maybe it is time to revisit your “Why.” This community has so much to offer in both Clan and Department Ops. Competition, friendship, learning and leadership opportunities to name a few.

Mind Your Own

It is unnerving meeting someone new when you aren’t sure if they’re going to pounce on you with overly personal questions. Do you have a boyfriend? A Girlfriend? Are you in a relationship? It is none of your business. If you get to know someone, that information comes out naturally. The inclination to interrogate someone upon meeting them is predatory and makes people uncomfortable. It’s also not the greatest way to fall in love.

Not A Gender Thing

This isn’t a gender-specific issue. I’ve personally been accosted by both male and female members and heard of similar issues from both. Granted, Gamer Girls probably have to deal with it more often due to numbers. It’s a fact that there are more males gaming than females. When a woman enters a group for the first time there is always the potential for being pounced on like a stray gazelle on the Serengeti. However they are by no means the only target and males are not the only guilty parties in this.

Age Is Not Just A Number

Remember that this is a 15+ community. There are very definite rules/laws that say nay to those 18 and older dating younger members. There are also rules about sending sexual content to other members. Don’t. Also, don’t solicit it. 

What’s In A Rank?

It is particularly unnerving when it is someone who is above you in your Division or Department. As a leader in this community you should be setting a good example mentoring those “under you”. Don’t use your rank as a weapon. While it is good to be “blind to rank” and not condescending when you walk into a party, also realize that asking personal questions and hitting on someone is uncomfortable to the recipient. That may not be your intention, but it is how it can come across.

When in a position of authority you should be extra aware of your words and actions and how they can be interpreted. In a “real world” job if you saw a boss hitting on a new hire would you see it as innocent?  As the underling, you may feel like you don’t have a shot at advancing if you don’t reciprocate advances. 

Do not undermine the work of others by making it look like they didn’t earn it on the merit of their hard work and personal accomplishments. Ranks and Department positions are not something to gain through favoritism.

The Policy

We all heard and or saw the meetings notes the last few months that stated: “There is nothing wrong with dating a fellow KSI member we can’t help who we fall for. It is important that if officers enter into a relationship with a member or fellow officer no matter the squad both are in, it is always a good idea to let your GEN or 7’s staff know about said relationship. You don’t have to go into details you just have to say ‘hey I’m dating so and so’ that way if there is any drama that might affect the squad or division, and the GEN or 7’s staff can get ahead of the situation.” 

Not only does it let them get ahead of the situation if things go sour, it also allows them to manage your ranks. As a rule, KSI avoids having officers in a relationship over one another to avoid favoritism – real or perceived.

It Needs Repeating

KSI is not a dating community. We are an Xbox gaming community providing a positive, non-toxic gaming experience for our members. Start with seeing members as a potential friend. If something more develops then I am very happy for you. It is toxic to approach someone though with that expectation. Keeping it up is also toxic. If you think you’ve developed that sort of relationship and you still hear “no”, please respect it. 

Article by KSI Siren82

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