National Blinker Fluid Shortage
Driving seems to be a difficult task in this day and age. More than 3 million car accidents happen every year. Upon entering the highway, the answer as to why becomes obvious. Blinker fluid.
As fewer and fewer people have access to blinker fluid, the roads become more and more dangerous. Not many people seem to be informed on this crisis, however, this easily explains the decaying safety of driving like a normal person. An angry driver exclaims, “They just don’t understand! I turned on my blinker but I’m out of blinker fluid! You can’t give me a ticket for that!”
Exasperated, drivers throw caution to the wind! Rather than using their hands to make signals, they disobey all driving laws. Drivers are beginning to drive on the wrong side of the road in an attempt to make their driving experiences more convenient.
Cops are happier than ever, running rampant on the highways, pulling over every driver who happens to be out of blinker fluid. The average American now owes the government $150,000 because ticket prices ran through the roof and people are seemingly unable to take care of their tickets due to lack of staff. Every graduating high school student wants to either be a cop or a racer. Statistics show that 43% of students who pass high school are going into law enforcement. 55% of students who pass high school are going into non-professional racing. The remaining 2% just stay at home and game.
Preppers, otherwise known as Americans preparing for the apocalypse, are all too thrilled about these happenings. “Little do these people know, the apocalypse is almost here… We foresaw this and prepared early,” one prepper claims, an evil smile on her face. Due to this information, there seems that there may have been some tampering with the country’s supply of blinker fluid.
Conspiracies grow throughout the nation, most of them blaming the government for lack of moderation. Obviously, we used the blinker fluid too quickly, much too recklessly.
Currently, Government officials stand on street corners with bottles of blinker fluid and credit card swipes on their phones. “We WILL get paid for giving away our limited resources,” one angry cop states.
Please understand that the News Team and myself understand that blinker fluid is not a real thing. Thank you.